URGENTLY CALLING ALL KLEPTOMANIAC ZOMBIE HUNTERS!
Who: Zombie Hunters! (Or anyone else that wants to save the world.)
Not a Zombie Hunter? Come anyway! How often will you get to see zombies in downtown Palo Alto? And free coffee!
The Password:
“Klepto Zombies” - gets you free coffee!
When:
1pm - 7pm
Wednesday July 11, 2012
Where:
Coupa Cafe in downtown Palo Alto
- Zombie face painting
RSVP HERE:
~ BEGIN TRANSMISSION ~
The situation is dire - I’m not going to lie. The little green men have made it clear to me that it’s coming and it’s only a matter of time. How much time, I’m not sure, but the point in fact is that there is no time to waste.
Kleptomaniac zombies will soon roam the earth in hoards, breaking into our houses and stealing all of our favorite things - that lucky pair of jeans, your grandmother’s jewelry, the flat screen TV, even those veggies you’ve been homesteading...everything will be at risk, no one is safe. Don’t get left behind!
Governments are keeping it under wraps, newspapers have been silenced, and even Jon Stewart dare not speak of it. After polluting the planet so heavily, a strain of bacteria called Greediola Coli (aka the “Greed” bacteria) is spawning and soon it will infect 99.997% of the planet’s human population, turning them into frenzied consumerism driven kleptomaniac zombies. Don’t be one of them - prepare yourself NOW!
They say that when the “Greed” bacteria infects you, you don’t feel it right away. It drives you towards your strongest addictions. For some, that’s porn or alcohol, but for most of us it’s STUFF. And eventually, anyone infected will cave to the addiction to STUFF.
But don’t panic - WE ARE HERE TO HELP! We call ourselves the Game Species Gang. We are highly trained in the arts and computer programming. We are masters of video game creation. We are rebels looking to save the world from the darkest threat it has ever encountered. We are developing a game where you will be able to practice fighting off kleptomaniac zombies, keeping you, your family, your friends, and your valuables, safe. But this game is a bit like inception - it has multiple planes of reality. For as you play the game, it will have real world repercussions. More on that later.
The “green people” or “little green men” from somewhere far, far away - a distant planet or parallel universe - have traversed worm holes and skirted black holes to deliver to us the secrets of keeping the looming Kleptomaniac Zombie Apocalypse under control.
The green people have explained to us that the Klepto zombies are not necessarily violent by nature. In fact, they’re normally vegans (imagine that!) As long as they get to satisfy their obsessive need to steal stuff, their bloodlust is kept in check. HOWEVER! If the zombies are not allowed to satisfy their kleptomania, they become violent and bloodthirsty. The zombies are in many ways like mindless, helpless children who need direction - that’s why the survivors need to keep the zombies in their basements and take care of them - at least until a cure or solution can be discovered.
So come to the training - we’ll fill you in on how to be the best klepto zombie hunter you can be. We’ll have a few infected klepto zombies to show you - but don’t be scared - our zombies are well-trained and we're the best in the world at keeping zombies under control.
How do I become a kleptomaniac zombie hunter?
Join us in kicking off our kickstarter campaign! We are an indie game studio (Game Species, Inc.) and we’re recruiting zombie hunters for the Kleptomaniac zombie apocolypse. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to attend the training day, watch the video, and become a backer for our awesome new video game, titled:
“My Neighbor the Zombie - Attack of the Kleptomaniacs”
We’re taking our vision and putting it in the hands of the people. We’re a new kind of company and we care about three things: people, planet, and play. We’re social entrepreneurs and we need your help to create an awesome video game where you will become skilled at fighting off KLEPTOMANIAC Zombies. While you play, your actions in the game will have real-world consequences...good real world consequences. Actually, let’s just go ahead and call them prosequences, like installing solar panels on rooftops, or supporting nurseries in Sudan.
What should you bring to the training?
Most important: bring yourself.
Next, there will be zombies, so we encourage you to come in your best zombie hunter apparel, but leave the axe and other weapons at home. We have WAY more sophisticated weapons under development with our R&D group. You bring you, and we’ll provide the caffeine and training, including face painting lessons, so you can blend in with the zombies and practice going incognito to spy on their behaviours. This will probably be a big hit with young kids, and, hey! One is never too young to start preparing for the Klepto Zombie Apocalypse.
